NEWSLETTER

THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME

Gary Schnider, when asked, “What is the best thing we can do for the planet?” said, and I paraphrase, “Stay home.” Stay home, what does that really mean? How do we make our home a base from which to navigate our relationships and our business? How do we stay connected with the larger body of Earth’s inhabitants while staying home? How do we make our homes a place we love to stay? These are some of the questions that intrigue me.

Since my father moved in with me this June I have been forced to stay home. Someone needed to be home at all times to give dad his medicine and watch out for him. At the beginning I was cooking three meals a day, doing twice as much laundry, washing many more dishes, entertaining my father’s friends who came by to say their final farewells and a host of other activities involving medicine, caregiving and diplomacy. Before my dad moved in with me I was learning to enjoy my empty nest. My days were my own, I was starting to take art classes, eat when I felt like eating. With hardly any laundry or house cleaning I was beginning to move my attention outside the home.

Being tethered to my home once again has compelled me to remember how to make my home a sacred place. That is, after all, what I teach. Yet I needed to relearn lessons learned many years ago when I was tethered to the home by a small child. At first I felt resistant to being at home 24/7. I felt trapped and angry. I knew it was a blessing to have my father spend his last months in my home but felt overwhelmed by the work, the allowing for other people’s energies in my space, the need to keep giving even when I was wringing the last drops of kindness and effort out of my tired consciousness and body. Yet, that is what mothers do all over the world everyday. That is what I did when I was the mother of a young child. We keep going when we don’t think we can move one more inch, say one more kind word, wash one more dish.

In order to keep going without becoming burnt out or bitter I needed to remember what I had learned about home tending during all those years of single mothering. During dad’s stay my brother has gone to a number of retreats returning refreshed. He was the returning hero while I was the haggard, worn out caregiver. I needed to find a way to refresh myself during endless days of caregiving. I needed to remember to practice my own teachings about home based spirituality. I remembered to tend the house as Jewish women do for the Sabbath. Being home all day with my dad who sleeps off and on allows me to clean out drawres and cupboards that haven’t seen the light of day for years. I set candles all over the house and light them each morning to remind me that this is a sacred space. I re-commit to be as kind and generous as I can with everyone who enters this home.

Regardless of any dark feelings that come up, and many do, I commit to put aside any rancor in order to keep the home sacred. Sometimes I slip but the general feeling in the home is one of respect and kindness. I remember that all things are impermanent and that some day I will again be able to leave the house freely and resume life outside my home. Some days I battle inner demons, some days I dwell in peace. Some days I need to turn to others for help or to just vent my frustrations. A difficult day could turn to a sweet, holy day at the drop of a hat. I remember that spiritual practice can be done anywhere, anytime. I don’t need to go on retreat to become calm. This is the crux of what I teach. Being forced to stay home has made me return to home based spiritual practice. The gift is I am learning this practice on a deeper level.

These days staying home is a revolutionary act. Everything in the dominant culture pulls us out of our homes to seek entertainment, business opportunities and recreation. We have forgotten how to entertain ourselves within our homes, how to rejuvenate ourselves

and keep our lives fresh while staying in one place, how to make our homes holy places. We are a restless culture. We do not need to leave our homes to develop our spiritual practice and our consciousness. We can do it right now, right where we are.

Jacqueline

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