The Buddamom

The bed is not just for sleeping and sex. This Christmas my daughter, Nicole, came home with the flu. She had been struggling with it for over a month and so had I. We had both been dragging ourselves through the things that needed to get done and, by Christmas, we were both totally spent. She came home December 23^rd and collapsed in my bed not to reemerge till the 26^th. I joined her and we both slept and lay in bed for days. One of Nicole=s Hanukkah presents from me was yarn and knitting needles. There in bed I taught her how to knit and she began a neck scarf. There we were, the two of us, in bed together, Nicole knitting and I working on crossword puzzles as we watched AFinding Nimo@ (which I heartily recommend both for its spiritual wisdom and fun). We had to giggle. We were like a couple of old ladies.

It got me to thinking about the nature of happiness. We all know, on some level, that happiness is not dependent upon conditions. Yet, don=t we all oftentimes live our lives as if this were not the case? A Christmas sick in bed does not sound like a recipe for happiness. Better to plan a ski trip or a day with friends hiking, shopping, dancing. But staying in bed with the flu, not very festive. What creates happiness? We all know people who have a home to live in, their health and friends but who are not happy. Some of us may have also encountered people with very little who were lit from within with the glow of joy.

What makes a happy person happy? There=s a book by Rick Foster and Greg Hicks called AHow we choose to be happy@. In it they found, through interviewing happy people, these nine choices that created their happiness (and I paraphrase)

1. The desire and commitment to be happy.

2. Assuming full responsibility for ones actions, thoughts and feelings.

3. Looking within for what makes your unique being happy.

4. Full nonnegotiable insistence on going for happiness.

5. Converting difficult situations into opportunities.

6. Being open to the infinite options available at all times.

7. Deep gratitude for all that=s in ones life.

8. Generosity of spirit and action.

9. Deep honesty with self and others.

Sounds like a good spiritual practice to me. We practice to remember the potential goodness of all things. Without practice, through reading spiritual material, tapping into the still silent space within through meditation and prayer, being in the present moment by practicing mindfulness and continually letting go, we are prone to unhappiness. We engage in a spiritual practice so that we may be happy. As mothers it becomes even more essential to practice happiness since our happiness affects the lives of our family in very deep ways.

Spiritual practice need not be like taking some foul medicine. It can be as simple as finding yourself and your child in bed with the flu and taking the opportunity to really be together, to laugh and love one another. This is happiness to me and happiness is always available.